Five Times James and Penny Never Got Together
by dhawthorne
Summary: Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn’t.
1. Friday, 9th March

Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn't.

***

Inspired by events detailed in _The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel_. I don't own anything. Some dialogue (marked at the beginning and end with an asterisk) was taken from _The Moneypenny Diaries_.

***

Friday, 9th March

*'Please, James, leave it to M. He wants Blofeld as much as you do,'* I told James. I couldn't bear it if he let his grief over Tracy's death and his desire for revenge engulf him again.

*'Penny, I love you,'* he said, looking into my eyes. I could feel my heart flutter. Calm down, I thought. You're seeing R. But it was to no avail. 'Come to dinner with me tonight, please.'

'All right,' I heard myself say, and he grinned for the first time since his wife's death.

'I'll meet you at Scott's at eight, all right?' he said, and I nodded. With a final kiss to my cheek, he left.

***

I rushed back to Ennismore Gardens as soon as M let me leave, and I dressed quickly in my Sybil Connolly dress and the Frank Cardone blue and pink mod shoes. I was running late, so I hopped into my Mini and drove to Scott's.

He was waiting for me at the table – the same table we'd shared when we celebrated his newly-issued license to kill. He'd ordered pink champagne and oysters, another echo of our 'first date'.

'You look lovely, Penny,' James said, standing as I approached him. As always, he looked incredibly dashing, and, to my relief, much better than he had during the past several months.

'Thank you, Commander,' I said lightly. He poured me a glass of the '48 Taittinger Rosé (the same champagne we'd drunk that first dinner together), and toasted me.

'To Penny, the light of the Office and my heart,' he said.

I wished that he wouldn't say things like that – he had no idea how much effort it cost me to be light-hearted. I smiled a bit uncomfortably – I didn't know how to respond – and shifted in my seat; he reached out and took my hand.

His hand was warm, large, and I could feel his hidden strength coursing through his skin. I looked into his eyes, the eyes that were a blue-grey like the sea, and was startled by the emotions I saw there.

'Penny, thank you for everything,' he murmured, raising my hand to his lips. 'You've no idea how invaluable your support has been during these past months.'

'I'm glad,' was all I could say. My heart was beating wildly, and I was sure that James could hear it.

'You're the most important person in my life,' he continued. 'And I never realised it until after Tracy died.' He choked a bit on his words, and while his eyes were sad, they no longer held the deep depression that was ever-present during the past few months. 'I do love you, Penny.'

I couldn't reply, couldn't move, as he brought his free hand up to my cheek. He leaned forward and I knew he was about to kiss me. And then he did.

It was everything I'd ever (guiltily) imagined – his lips were soft and talented and oh! he was a marvellous kisser (of course he'd had a lot of practise...)

We broke apart reluctantly when the waiter cleared his throat. I blushed but James just smiled at me. The waiter set down the plate of oysters and left.

James was still holding my hand and my blush deepened when I realised that. I tried to disengage my hand but he held fast.

'I know that we've flirted a lot, Penny, and while it may be meaningless to you, it's not to me.'

My breath caught in my throat.

'I came to this realisation after Tracy died. You've always been there for me, Penny, and I love you for that.'

'Only for that?' I heard myself say, and he chuckled, the sombre mood that surrounded us lightening.

'Not only for that, darling,' he said, still laughing quietly. 'Your intelligence, your loyalty to the Office, your passion, and, of course, your beauty.'

I blushed again and looked down; suddenly his fingers were beneath my chin, tilting it up so that I was looking into his eyes.

'I'm serious, Jane,' he said, and I smiled widely. He'd never called me by my first name before. 'Do... do you have anything to say in response, or are you just going to make me talk?'

I smiled slightly. 'Unlike your other... paramours, James, I'm still going to be around when this ends.'

'What if it doesn't end?' he replied, and yet again I couldn't breathe. 'I don't want this to end, Penny.'

'Nothing's happened yet,' I said.

'A kiss is nothing?' he asked me. 'Dinner is nothing?'

'It's nothing if nothing happens after tonight.'

'Then will you come to dinner tomorrow?' he asked, 'at my house? May can cook for us – she likes you, you know, even though you've only spoken over the phone.'

I smiled. 'I'd like that very, very much.'

'Good,' he replied, 'I'll swing by your desk at six tomorrow, then.'

'I can't wait,' I said truthfully.

'Nor can I,' he replied.

***

Four more parts to come.


	2. Sunday, 18th March

Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn't.

***

Inspired by events detailed in _The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel_. I don't own anything. Some dialogue (marked at the beginning and end with an asterisk) was taken from _The Moneypenny Diaries_.

***

Sunday, 18th March

I couldn't believe I was breaking the chain of command, and in such an ostentatious way, but I had to help James. The OM couldn't get wind of his activities in Madrid or else he would surely be fired. At least that's what I told myself as I was driven to the Embassy.

*By the time I got to the Embassy yesterday, James was already there and pacing up and down like a caged tiger. He looked more than a little surprised to see me.

'Penny, what on earth are you doing here?' he said.

I told him I'd come to take him home.

'On the Old Man's orders? He's going to have me strung up for this, but I was so close, I literally had him in my sights, but then his gorilla of a bodyguard jumped me and Blofeld slipped out on to the balcony. I went after him once I'd got the gorilla off my back.' I frowned at him and shook my head. 'Yes, I suppose I'll be needing one of your forms for him, Penny dear. But when I got on to the roof, he'd vanished. I came down the fire-escape, but I'd lost him. It's bloody frustrating.'

He looked momentarily taken aback when I told him that – apart from Summers and myself – no one knew where he was.

'You came by yourself to rescue me? Penny, you are a wonder.'

I tried to suppress as smile and hurry him along to the airport for the late plane back to London.*

We got on the plane and settled into our seats – I was in the window seat and he was in the aisle. The plane was surprisingly empty and I was glad of it.

I must've fallen asleep because when I woke up, my head was resting against his shoulder. He was looking down at me with a peculiar mixture of tenderness, possessiveness, and – could it be? – love? It just seemed natural to stretch up and kiss him.

He deepened the kiss almost immediately, running one hand through my hair and pushing up the armrest between us with the other. Once the armrest was out of the way he slipped that hand around my waist and pulled me closer.

We finally broke apart and I looked away from him, shocked at my boldness.

'Penny,' he said softly, stroking my hair. I couldn't look at him. 'Penny, please look at me.'

I turned to him, still stunned to see that peculiar combination of emotions in his eyes.

'Why did you kiss me, Penny?'

'Why did you kiss me back?' I countered.

'Because you mean the world to me, Penny,' he said.

I scoffed but my heart thrilled at his statement. 'Oh, really, James?' I asked him, half-mocking his words.

'Really, Penny,' he replied with all seriousness and sincerity. 'I love you.'

I couldn't stop my heart from leaping in my breast at his declaration; though he'd said those words before, he'd never said them with so much sincerity.

'I love you, Penny,' he said again, and I couldn't speak for joy. I hadn't admitted to myself how much I loved him until that very moment.

'And I love you, James,' I said, and he bent down to capture my lips in a kiss once again.

'What are we going to do when we get back?' I asked him.

'Why, dinner, of course,' he said. 'At my place. Tonight.'

'All right,' I agreed. I felt a bit guilty, as I was still technically seeing R, but things were not as, well, comfortable as they had been in the past – especially after I caught him searching my desk. And James... James was so charming, wonderful, and I couldn't help myself.

'And after that?' I couldn't resist asking. 'Where will we go from there, James? I'm not like the women you typically favour. We can't avoid seeing each other at work, and I won't give up my job if, well, whatever this is, goes south.'

'I know that, Penny,' he said. 'You're different, and that's why,' he caressed my cheek, 'that's why I love you.'

He bent down and kissed me again and I gave myself up to the moment. In those precious moments, nothing mattered but James.


	3. Saturday, 23rd June

Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn't.

***

Inspired by events detailed in _The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel_. I don't own anything. Some dialogue (marked at the beginning and end with an asterisk) was taken from _The Moneypenny Diaries_.

***

Saturday, 23rd June

Lil's wedding was wonderful – she looked so happy and radiant. I cried throughout the ceremony, feeling ridiculous in my Jackie suit and pillbox hat.

*I danced with 007. Unsurprisingly, he is a wonderful dancer and managed to make me forget about everything, even the suit, as he twirled me around the dance floor. I felt like a princess, if only for a few short minutes. At one point, he murmured into my ear, 'Penny, why do I bother with all these women when the most desirable one in the world is here under my nose the whole time? Come home with me now, Penny, please.' I looked up into those blue-grey eyes* and the sheer amount of love present took my breath away. 'Please, Penny,' he repeated, and I could feel myself nod.

'Just let me say goodbye to Lil,' I murmured, and he reluctantly released me. I said my hurried good-byes to my best friend and her new husband before rejoining James. He took my arm and led me to his car, opening the door for me. I smiled a bit nervously at him before slipping into my seat.

He held my hand as we drove back to his house; I could feel my pulse pounding as I contemplated what I was about to do.

I was about to sleep with James. I was about to become the next in a long line women James had slept with.

We arrived at his house and he helped me out of the car, taking my arm as we walked up the steps to his house. He unlocked the door and I stepped inside.

I'd been to his house once before but never upstairs, which is where he led me. He opened the door to the room at the top of the stairs and before I could do anything, he bent and kissed me.

I responded automatically, my arms twining around his neck as his lips moved against mine. His arms, which had settled around my waist, pulled me closer to him. I could feel his erection pressing against my abdomen and I moaned into his mouth.

'James,' I whispered when we broke apart.

'Shh, Penny darling; you don't have to say a thing,' he said, running his thumb along my cheekbone.

I nodded, mesmerised by the love still present in his eyes. He bent and kissed me again, this kiss quickly growing more and more passionate. He began to move us towards the bed and I toppled backwards onto it.

He continued to kiss me, his weight pressing me down among the bedcovers. I didn't give a damn about my clothes anymore; all I wanted to do was get out of them. He aided me in undressing and then it was my turn to help him shed his clothes.

James really is a marvel of a man – muscular but not too muscular, with a broad chest and strong body. I ran my hands down his chest, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath my fingertips.

Finally I looked into his eyes. He was staring down at me, his eyes filled with awe and love.

'I always knew you were beautiful, Penny, but I'd never imagined you were this beautiful,' he said, and I smiled.

'And you, Commander, certainly live up to all the gossip in the Powder Vine,' I replied.

He chuckled, his laughter deep and amused. I shivered beneath him, his laughter fuelling my growing arousal.

'Penny, you're a darling,' he said, bending down to kiss me. I deepened the kiss, moaning again when he gently ran his hands down my sides. He certainly was skilled, I remember thinking, before his lips left mine and began to a journey down my throat, along my collarbone, still lower... I blush to even write about it here, though no one will ever read these entries. Suffice to say that he was marvellous, wonderful – everything I'd ever imagined. I'll never forget last night.

I'd always assumed that he took his own pleasure first, then satisfied his partner, but I was quite wrong. Much to my surprise, he was a very careful, gentle, tender lover, taking his time to make sure I was satisfied, and then, only then, did he allow himself release.

Afterwards we lay sprawled out on top of the sheets, his arm resting on top of my waist. He smiled at me and pulled me closer to him for a kiss.

'Penny, you were wonderful – you are wonderful,' he said, and I felt my cheeks flush with a peculiar mixture of embarrassment and pride – embarrassment that he had quite an accurate ranking scale, and pride because I obviously topped the charts. 'I love you.'

I looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it. 'I love you, James,' I said, and he kissed me again, and again, and again...

I don't know what's going to happen between us. James is having me over to dinner tonight, but what will happen when he's away for six months on a mission? I love him, but I'm afraid he'll break my heart.

Is love worth the risk of a broken heart, of no future together? I know we'll never settle down as a married couple, raise a family – he loves his job too much and I won't give mine up, either.

But I do love him, and, it seems, he loves me, too. And, right now, that's all that matters.


	4. Sunday, 9th September

Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn't.

***

Inspired by events detailed in _The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel_. I don't own anything. Some dialogue (marked at the beginning and end with an asterisk) was taken from _The Moneypenny Diaries_.

***

Sunday, 9th September

*The two days in Miami were essential recuperation time. I slept a lot and tried not to think about the rock-fall of worries that have been piling up inside my head over the past few months. James was wonderful throughout – I got to know a different side of him, one that had been trying to worm its way out since Tracy's death, but which, I suspect, he finds hard to embrace. He's a kind, thoughtful, generous man, as well as strong and extraordinarily attractive. I may have to reconsider my previous opinion about Kennedy. I'm certainly happy to spend plenty of time in the considering.

He came into my room on our first evening, while I was writing, and it was only sleight of hand that prevented him from catching me in the act. He was in better spirits and whisked me off to a wonderful restaurant called Joe's Stone Crab on Southern Point, just across the road from the small park where I'd waited for his boat not to arrive. I showed him the jetty. 'I was so worried about you,' I told him. 'I thought your ship was never going to come in.'

'Well, it has now, my Penny.'*

I looked up at him and he rested his hand on my cheek, running his thumb along my cheekbone. 'You've always been my lucky Penny,' he chuckled slightly, and I smiled. His voice grew more serious. 'You saved my life, Penny, as much as I hate to admit that I was in a position to need saving. But you risked your job and your life to bring me that radio and save me. You are my guardian angel, darling, and you always have been.'

I couldn't say anything as he slipped his free arm around my waist, holding me close to him.

'James...' I started to say, but was cut off by his lips on mine.

He'd kissed me in jest before but never like this – never as though he loved me. My arms looped around his neck and I pressed against him, relishing the feel of his hard body against mine. He deepened the kiss, his tongue gently tracing the outline of my mouth before entering it. Oh, he was such a marvellous kisser!

Finally, though, we broke apart, and he looked down into my eyes once again.

'Penny, I love you,' he said.

I looked away from him. 'James, you oughtn't say things you don't mean.'

He caught my chin with his hand, forcing me to look at him. 'I do mean it, Penny,' he said, and I could tell that he was telling the truth. 'I have loved you for a long time, but hadn't realised it until I was captured in Cuba. I felt defeated, Penny, and I thought I'd never leave that ship alive. And all I could think about was you.'

'Oh, James,' I whispered.

'And then, when I saw you on the boat... oh, Penny, I was so relieved that I could see you one final time.'

'You were so angry, though,' I said.

'I didn't want you to get hurt, Penny. I couldn't bear it if you were captured and killed because of me.'

'I'd do anything for you, James,' I told him, surprised even as I said the words.

'And I'd do anything for you, Penny,' he replied, bending down to kiss me again.

We spent the rest of the evening strolling through Miami, hand in hand. James often pulled me into corners so that we could kiss, each kiss growing in passion. Finally, I could bear it no longer.

'Let's go back to the hotel, James,' I whispered. I was shocked at my boldness but I wanted him, needed him, and loved him.

'Are you sure, Penny?' he asked her. 'I don't want to rush you.'

I chuckled – that certainly made a change from his usual mode of operation – and nodded. 'I'm sure.'

He smiled down at me and met my lips with his once again before taking my hand. We walked up the steps to the hotel and entered the elevator. We were taken up to the fourth floor, where James's room was, and he unlocked the door. I stepped into his suite, which was much more spacious than the room I had been allotted.

'Penny, darling,' he whispered, holding me close as soon as the door closed behind us. 'I love you so much.'

'And I love you, James,' I replied. I could scarcely believe this was not a dream.

He led me over to the bed, urging me to sit down. He knelt at my feet and helped me off with my shoes, slowly making his way upward. Finally, my clothes were on the floor and he was on top of me, his lips kissing my neck, my collarbone, my breasts...

I shan't write any more here – it's far too personal, even for a secret diary, but it was wonderful. His skills in bed are certainly not exaggerated – no wonder all those women continue to call the Office in hopes of seeing him again!

Lying in bed with him afterwards was just as wonderful. He is such a tender, loving man – a side I feel privileged to be one of the few to see.

He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes, saying, 'Penny, I love you.'

I could feel myself smiling – I had waited so long to hear him say those words in earnest, and now he was. 'I love you, James.'

He held me close to him, running his hand along my back. I rested my head against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

I must have fallen asleep for when I woke up again, the sun was just rising and he was looking down at me tenderly.

'I'll never forget your face in this moment,' he whispered, and I was shocked by his sentimentality, something that seemed so out-of-character for him. 'You're more beautiful now than you ever have been before.'

'And you are more handsome than ever,' I said, 'though it's hard to believe.' He laughed quietly and kissed me again, softly, gently.

'I'll never get enough of you,' he said, and I knew that was true for me as well. I will never, ever get enough of him.


	5. Monday, 15th October

Five times James Bond and Jane Moneypenny might have gotten together, but didn't.

***

Inspired by events detailed in _The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel_. I don't own anything. Some dialogue (marked at the beginning and end with an asterisk) was taken from _The Moneypenny Diaries_.

***

Monday, 15th October

*I've been back for only two days, but the San Cristobal episode feels as if it happened to another person. Even the three nights at the Sevilla, waiting anxiously for James to arrive, and my relief when he eventually knocked on the door, grey with dirt and exhaustion after being hunted across the country by the KGB and the Cuban security forces, both baying for his blood. It was only when he was in the room, with the door locked, that I felt safe, for the first time in what seemed like weeks.*

'Penny, darling,' he whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

I rested my head against his chest. 'Oh, James, thank God.'

He stroked my hair softly as I sobbed with relief into his chest. Finally, I composed myself.

'Come sit down on the bed, James – you must be exhausted.'

He allowed me to lead him to the bed and laid down on it, closing his eyes.

'Would you like anything to eat? To drink?' I asked him, and he shook his head. Opening his eyes, he reached out to me, pulling me down on the bed next to him.

'Stay with me, Penny,' he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist. He held me against him, stroking my hair.

'James, I'm so glad you're back,' I whispered.

'I'll always come back to you, Penny,' he replied, kissing the top of my head. 'I love you.'

I stiffened in his embrace. 'Please don't say things you don't mean, James.' I had spent the past three days worrying about him and remembering the kiss we'd shared before he'd gone to take the pictures of the missiles. During that time I'd come to the realisation that I loved him. I couldn't bear to hear him say things he didn't really mean.

'I do mean it,' he said, tilting my chin up so that he could look into my eyes. 'The thought of you was all that kept me going.'

'Oh, James,' I whispered as he leaned down to kiss me.

This kiss was far different from the other one we'd shared; this was soft and gentle, not quick and fiercely passionate. But this kiss quickly grew more and more passionate and soon he rolled me onto my back, pressing me down among the sheets.

He began to undress me and I helped him off with his clothes as well. Soon we were beneath the sheets and he was on top of me, kissing me passionately.

'Penny, my love,' he whispered in between kisses. 'Oh, Penny...'

I couldn't bear the exquisite torment his kisses and caresses created – never have I been attended to in such a manner before. I had enjoyed sleeping with R but it was never like this...

Afterwards he fell asleep – he was obviously exhausted. I watched him sleep, gently pushing his dark hair out of his eyes. He woke up a half an hour later and smiled up at me.

'I love you so much, Penny,' he whispered, and I smiled down at him.

'I love you, James,' I replied. And I did – do. Oh, I love him so much!

The rest of our time in Cuba was spent in a flurry of activity, planning our escape back to America, then home. But at night – oh, at night! – we'd make love for hours. I knew that, after our first time together, I'd joined the long list of women that he'd slept with, but for some reason, I don't mind. I love him, and that's all that mattered during those few days in Cuba. Though I was genuinely afraid we'd be captured, those three final days were the happiest I've ever experienced.

I don't know what our relationship is going to be like now – 007 doesn't have a long track record of commitment. He'd tried it, once, with Tracy, and that only lasted a few hours. I don't expect he'll want to marry me, and I can't allow myself to get my hopes up. But somehow it doesn't matter – nothing matters. Even if our relationship goes back to the way it was before Cuba, I'll have those three days – the three happiest, scariest, most emotion-filled days of my life.

END.


End file.
